Something I hope I never have to do...

All things considered, longevity runs in the blood for my family. I was raised with both sets of Grandparents and even Great Grandparents, and that wasn’t odd to me. Case in point, my husband’s parents were a little older when they got married and had children. Neal didn’t grow up knowing both sets of Grandparents and I’m not even sure he had Great Grandparents living, even at birth. But for me, I was just shy of 28 and had two great grandmothers still living. That’s mostly unheard of these days. (Well, I guess it’s a little more prevalent in the South since a lot of couples got married young and had children right away.)

I’ve watched people very close to me, and some not so close, say their final good-bye’s to loved ones. Some of these are siblings, parents, grandparents and even some are their children. Since High School, I have sung for funerals for my own family members and for other families in the churches I’ve been a member of. Even if I didn’t know the person who died, I’ve watched the grief and sadness they bore during the funeral mass.

Probably the hardest funerals I’ve ever sang for are those mothers who are burying their children. I’ve watched mothers in their 20’s all the way up to their 90’s bury their children. Despite someone burying an infant or burying a 60 year old child, the sadness is always the same. I will never, ever forget the way my Great Grandmother (or Lil’ Granny as we called her) looked when she buried her oldest daughter, my Grandmother (or Grandmama to us cousins.) To this day, her image is in my mind, even when my Grandmama left behind 5 children. It’s intense and something I could never imagine. I guess until I have children, its something I’ll never fully understand.

The closest thing I could imagine is losing my husband, Neal, or my mother – two of the closest people to me in the world. I know death is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean that I cant wish it wont ever happen to those around me. So it’s ambitious and probably naive, but that is one thing I hope I never have to do.

Gobble, Gobble THIS!

So I’ve been MIA the last week because of the long Thanksgiving break. You know, its times like this where I question WHY the f my office decided to have its Biggest Loser Weight-Loss challenge during the Holidays?! It’s really hard to enjoy the Holidays (food) when you’re dieting. And Id be lying my fat ass off if I said I’ve been perfect when it comes to my nutrition. I’ve never met a potato that I didn’t like, and Thanksgiving is perfect for that. I indulged in both the potato and the sweet potato. Multiple times. And never looked back.

To top it all off, we traveled to Atlanta this weekend to celebrate my cousin Emily’s wedding AND our own first wedding anniversary. Now you know there’s some food to be had between the two. My favorite of the weekend? A big, fat, greasy cheeseburger from The Vortex ( www.thevortexbarandgrill.com ) in Midtown Atlanta. Oh yeah, and sweet potato fries. (Did I mention I LOVE sweet potatoes?!)

Tomorrow will be the true test of how naughty I’ve been. It, once again, is weigh-in day. I’ve tried to talk the challenge administrator into a “buy week.” No suck luck. So who knows? I’ll be in a Spin class tonight with my college roommate, Lindsey, and I may visit the sauna, too. But either way, I’m dreading tomorrow. *sigh*  So here goes…

"Something you hope to do in your life"

Some girls, when they are young, dream of being a mother. From a very young age, they are encouraged to play with dolls - coddle them like they were there very own, “feed” them, dress them, name them.  I think some women are born with a natural, maternal instinct.

When I was a child, I had my fair share of dolls, but I did best at making sure they were clean and put away in an organized fashion. They were used as a tool for me to sharpen my OCD skills that would later serve me very well in life. I would sing to these dolls, all in an effort to hone in on my musical abilities. I even had dolls that had anatomically correct private parts. True story. They were newborn twins, a boy and girl. The little boy had little boy parts and the girl had little girl parts. Again, a tool to sharpen my intelligence. While they were funny to show my more sheltered friends, I never really cared to “mother” them.

I had friends in High Schools whose life goals were to become mothers. I dreamt of a career and a husband, but not necessarily “off-spring.” Now, some 20 years later, I come upon my first anniversary or wedded bliss. While having children was never a priority for me, that all changed when I met a man that I couldn’t imagine NOT having a family with.

Neal was born to be a father. When I see how he responds to babies and children, THAT is when I start to get this maternal instinct. It may have come much later in life for me than others, but I look forward to having lil’ Catholic babies with Neal. (Hopefully with his big blue eyes and chubby cheeks.) Making me his wife was the proudest moment I’ve ever had, and one day, when the time is right, I hope to make him a proud father.

And that is what I hope to do in life…

~Jenn

I love me!

List of 30 things, item #2: Something you love about yourself

I know myself…

From birth, I’ve been a head-strong kind of girl. And while one might think that could be a bad thing, I actually embrace it. I’ve always had a strong sense of self and confidence. Most of the time, it has served me well in life. I owe that to several influences, mostly my mom followed closely by a few other family members, the army, Girl Scouts, my faith and a few close friends.

I’ve always known what I want out of life and fought to get it. For example, part of why I think Neal and I have had a successful year and hopefully a lifelong, blissful marriage, is because of this spoken (and unspoken) confidence.

It was important for me to set goals for myself and most importantly, achieve them. I wanted an education, and I got it. I wanted to live on my own, so I packed up everything I owned and moved to downtown Atlanta where I didn’t know a soul within a 40 mile radius. I wanted to be a ruthless business woman, so I networked and found the ideal job in Hospitality. When I decided I had had enough of Atlanta and its shenanigans, I moved back to Nashville where I again, found another great job with Nissan’s corporate headquarters. I lived on my own and depended on no one to support me. In the time where I was ramen noodles, I knew that I provided that meal and that I didn’t need mom and dad to shell out for their adult child.

I knew what I wanted, and I made it happen.

When I decided that single life had become as fulfilling as possible, I decided to pray to find a cute Catholic boy to join me in this great thing called life. I didn’t want to settle for just any man. I wanted a man that could love me for all my quirks. I wanted to marry a man for a lifetime. I didn’t just want a fun party of a wedding. I wanted a lifelong partner to love and support me… the fun party of a wedding was just an added bonus. J

I’m not saying everything was easy along the way, but I am eternally grateful for the many blessings God has given me. I asked and He gave when I needed them most. I love where I am in my life and I couldn’t have asked for a better path.

~Jenn

Tuesday, Tuesday....

The body is a strange thing, I tell you. Last week was disastrous diet wise. I seriously ate cake for breakfast one day. Like, that bad. But like my mom says, sometimes you have to shock a dieting body. And I guess that worked because I weighed in again this morning and… *shocker!*… I was down another 1.4 pounds. That was the grace of lil’ baby Jesus, I say. Not sure how I pulled it out, but I guess I’m doing something right.

To catch you up to where I am, today marked the 6^th weigh-in. I’m right at 12 pounds lost, which is a healthy average of 2 pounds a week. I have 4 more weeks of weigh-in torture left and I’m aiming for 2 more pounds a week to put me at my 20 pound goal. It’s doable, but as we all know, a brined turkey and sweet potatoes are calling my name. My goal is to work my ass off (literally) this week and pull a big number to make up for next week’s luming Holiday. We’ll see how that works out. All I know is that Im thrilled with my weight loss. Hott ass here I come!

~Jenn

Ta-da Tuesday!

Well, another weigh-in day has come and gone. I lost 1.6 pounds this week, which put me at a loss of 10.6 pounds lost since we started this Biggest Loser Challenge a month ago.

I checked with he administrator of the challenge and she said I’m above and beyond anyone else in the challenge, so that was good news to my ears for sure! I know I could do even better if I stayed 100% committed. I tend to lapse every now and then food wise, BUT I have not slacked off in the gym, which I think it helping.

I’m going to be working extra hard the next few weeks because Thanksgiving is just around the corner and we celebrate it twice with my family and Neal’s. My brother, the bearded yhetti, is coming in next week from New Mexico along with his girlfriend, Julia. We’re making plans to go to the Titans game next week AND the Tennessee/ Vandy game, so you know there’s some serious calories to be consumed between tailgating and stadium food. Not to mention, Neal and I will take them around to some restaurants in our area they haven’t tried yet.

But to recap, we have 5 weeks left in the challenge and I still have a 20 pound weight-loss goal. I really have to step it up to meet that goal, so I’m keeping my eye on the prize. A skinner Jenn and one heck of a money pot!!

~Jenn

Facebook needs a "Dislike" button

Okay, so I’m starting the list of 30 things about myself. I’m sure in some demented way it’s connected with weight issues. It always is.

So here goes… Day 1: Something you dislike about yourself.

(Editor’s Note: I deleted “hate” and substituted “dislike.” Call me cliché, I’ll take it.)

I think it goes without saying that I’m writing this blog because my body and I don’t see eye to eye. Am I pretty? Yes. Do I have a smokin’ hott body? Um, yeah, not so much. But the blueprint is there. I’m just chipping away at some of these extra fat cells so I can truly say that I have a smokin’ hott body. Once I get that taken care of, then here are a few physical things that I dislike about myself… my thin hair that never seems to do right. Having extra large feet (size 10), which makes it hard to find cute clearance shoes. I’m knocked-kneed.

Now the not so physical things. And let me pre-face this by saying that these are terrible things about myself, but like all things, it’s all about moderation. I tend to be a little on the bitchy side. It takes a while to forgive things, but I never forget them. I’m judgmental. Most of the time, I think I know what’s best. I’m funny about money.

Writings things you dislike about yourself it hard. Because you never want to own up to some things. But I said that I would do this 30-day challenge and you have to fill in the blanks somewhere.

~Jenn

Abby's Road

I have a friend named Abby, whom I met years back while in college at MTSU. We weren’t necessarily BFF’s, but she was always around and in touch. Since college, I’ve gotten to know her better through adult activities, such as a wedding we were both a part of a year ago. The older we get, the more I like her. The woman is brilliant. She’s a great friend, a devoted wife, and a phenomenal mother. We have similar personalities, which could be disastrous, but we’re mature enough to realize how awesome we are, so, it works. She, too, writes a blog, which I follow. (http://www.pureramblingsfrompegram.blogspot.com/ )She writes about life, motherhood, marriage and thoughts as a young woman. She started her blogging journey by answering a list of 30 things about yourself.

While I intended to write a weight-loss themed blog, sometimes the blogs are hard to come up with AND keep with the theme. Then I got to thinking. The whole idea behind transforming my body, is to have the perfect fit with this ideal life I’m living. I’ve said it before, I’m perfectly content with my life. Sometimes I sit and think about how I couldn’t have prayed to be in a better place. I know there is always growing and learning to do, but I’m thankful that I don’t have…. “baggage.” I don’t live with a dark cloud over my head. I don’t have any damaging secrets in my past. I’m the princess in a storybook love story. All of these amazing things, BUT, I’m just a little chubby.

So, I may be stealing a few ideas from my friend, Abby - starting with this list of 30 things. I’ll blog regularly, answering each of these questions along the way. Because a healthy body starts with a happy heart, and I’m reminded of where I come from and how I got here. And maybe you can know, too…

~Jenn